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5 October 2001 I suppose I'm returning to a recurring theme in this journal, but...artists really are indebted to their fans. People who buy the CDs and show up at concerts constitute a new performer's entire livelihood. Later on in the game it's more about advances and points and radio play royalties, but for the kind of career I'm after (i.e. one based on genuine appreciation rather than hype), ultimately I'll always depend on individuals and the fact that they love what I do. An interesting truth, that. In my current day job, I get paid because my company needs me to do what I do in order to ensure its own success. I'm comfortable with that arrangement. But with music, it's purely an act of love, really. Almost of charity, sometimes, if I think about the principle of "supporting the arts," the fact that they often flounder financially when left to their own devices. Not sure how I feel about being dependent on the love of strangers. There is no question that I want eventually to make a living by being creative, for as long as it feels right. And of course I would want to be paid in accordance to the quality of what I do. But looking at it in terms of needing love...that's a more difficult question. - VT
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