17 January 2002
Before the Canvas Show

Sleepy, anxious, jazzed, and mildly hypochondriacal. I kept waking up last night. The show tonight has the potential to be really cool, and that's always a rather vulnerable position to be in. I usually prefer to be critical of myself and then be pleasantly surprised when other people like whatever it is I'm doing. (And if they're also critical, of course, at least I already agree with them.) Feeling excited about one's own music is like falling in love without knowing how the other person feels. Unrequited affection sucks.

But these guys I'm playing with -- they're just really good. And I have so much fun going through the songs with them and watching them add their own ideas to the mix...hitting walls and getting frustrated and trying something else and occasionally stumbling upon the right thing almost by accident, just like I've always done alone. I think a lot of good stuff has come out of all of it. I just hope the people listening will think so too.

See you tonight. Wish us luck.

- VT